Monday, December 3, 2012

My Whole Being Waits

I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in His word I put my hope. -Psalm 130:5

I read that scripture over the weekend and started weeping because I have experienced this scripture for over 2 years, "My WHOLE BEING WAITS and in HIS WORD, I put MY HOPE"...

For over 2 years, Caden has been OUR son, not officially, but in OUR hearts, in HIS heart, and in YOUR hearts. Yet, throughout the long process of adoption, we have endured a very tough emotional journey.

We have sought the Lord for guidance, cried out, felt defeated, and then regained our FAITH in being sure it would all be final soon. Then quickly we would find ourselves having another pity party- just last week I had a friend meet me to cry and pray with me. "My WHOLE BEING WAITS and in HIS WORD, I put MY HOPE"...

We waited on God's timing when another 3 months of false hope had passed. We’ve met with countless people from CPS caseworkers to attorneys to CASA to FAD workers to fictive kin advocates to firemen to doctors and even had psychological exams.

For two years, we’ve had to run home to make beds, wipe off the counters, and cancel plans or appointments when someone calls to have a home visit on the last day of the month. We've had the number of our couches counted, drawn a floor plan of our home, installed a smoke detector in every single room, took all locking doorknobs off our inside doors, and locked up all medicines. "My WHOLE BEING WAITS and in HIS WORD, I put MY HOPE"...

We’ve written essays on our childhood, essays on discipline policies, and essays on how we handle stress. We have been asked every question imaginable and we’ve all been finger printed and background checked, and so have many of our close friends and family. We have attended countless court dates, visitations and phone calls with Caden’s birth family and the hardest the depths of our souls, we've worried, questioned, prayed, and trusted HIS WORD.

And yes, we have even withdrawn from a lot of activities, service, and ministries during the past 2 years as God has challenged us to live James 1:27 in our very home; our greatest ministry.  "My WHOLE BEING WAITS and in HIS WORD, I put MY HOPE"...

You may even find yourself TIRED FOR US or possibly TIRED OF US and TIRED OF hearing about our adoption process.  Because yes, IT. HAS. BEEN. OUR. ALL. ENCOMPASSING. LIFE.  for over 2 years. Loving, praying, hoping, living, worrying, trusting...roller coaster of emotions for two long years.

Unless you've been through a lengthy adoption process, it's probably hard to truly understand the emotional strains we have been through in the last two years. However, we do so much appreciate so many of you who have gone through adoption and come beside us or those of you who just simply TRIED to understand or sympathize. You have just BEEN THERE for us (even when we have withdrawn into a hole) because WE HAVE NEEDED YOU desperately- to pray for us and with us, to listen to us, to love us, and to encourage us! Some of the sweetest friendships have grown during this time, people we didn't even know that well have given such encouragement and love to us. Thank you all for joining alongside us as we have waited, my heart is so grateful for you all. "My WHOLE BEING WAITS and in HIS WORD, I put MY HOPE"...

I can honestly say this has been the longest continuous season I've ever endured. Speaking of seasons, they end! Hallelujah, praise God seasons end... and I am READY for a celebration!!!!  Last Friday you may have heard my screams and tears of JOY (no matter where you live), we were told...IT IS COMING…IT IS COMING VERY SOON…our ADOPTION DATE WILL BE THIS MONTH!!!! Can I get an AMEN, PRAISE GOD?!?! 

I have several friends who volunteered to help with Caden's Adoption Party; please come celebrate with us! DETAILS COMING SOON!  

By FAITH, this little boy will officially 
 “I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in His word I put my hope." -Psalm 130:5

1 comment:

  1. Aww, Tam! This whole post made me tear up! Praise God from whom ALL Blessings flow!! Your steadfast love for him and Caden, your perseverance in the Lord, your faithfulness and utter dependence on Him have not failed you! Praise God for you and your sweet family! May the Lord protect you, keep you in His perfect will, and lavish is love on you always! Caden doesn't know how fortunate he is to have you and Chad as parents, but I know God hand-picked you to be his Momma. I am so, so happy for you :) Lots of love to you!! Stace